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Showing posts from March, 2013

The one where I look like death and talk about bits and being crazy.

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So, I totally just freaked myself out just now when I looked in the mirror. I actually look like the crypt creeper. I have not gotten a full 8 hours of sleep in I don't know how long. If I ever want to get a full 8 hours of sleep, I have to go to bed by 8 p.m. which officially makes me at least 80 years old. So, today I am looking especially ghoulish thanks to my sweet daughter who never sleeps and thanks to the fact that instead of going to bed early when my mother in law took Harper last night like a g.d.'d saint I wanted some g.d.'d ice cream. Plus, by the time I get to Wednesday that means I've already worked at least 36 hours. I work 12-14 hours a day y'all. Seriously, my bags have bags today. They are packing for a 20 year vacation. I just took this sweet selfie:

Ignore my unusually poor artwork. I'm doing this on my laptop. I think that's pretty damn good considering I'm using the stupid little touch pad. Who invented those things anyway? What a …

The one where we talk about first world problems and nap time.

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Today seems to be going okay. I no longer like to use words like perfect or good for fear of disturbing the powers that be into thinking that I need another really bad day. Harper seems to be doing loads better already with her new medicine and her ear drops. Her ear drops that I almost gave myself a heart attack with because I almost dropped them right into her eye. Literally landed like 1 millimeter from her eye as I screamed, "Noooo!" in slow motion.

Right now, I am taking  over in the advanced preschool room (4 to 5 years old) during nap time. Nap time to 4 to 5 year olds means looking at each other from across the room and trying to mouth things to each other because they think I'm too stupid to notice. And then me telling them over and over to face away from each other and them acting surprised that I actually can type on my computer and watch them at the same time. It's like I'm some sort of Charlie Sheen warlock magic creature with tiger's blood. So, …

The one where we talk about insurance.

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So, I must have enjoyed yesterday too much because today was the stark opposite of a good, perfect day. A little after midnight Harp woke up screaming about her ears hurting. She has had so many ear infections this winter it's not even funny. She just came off of a 2 round course of antibiotics for her ears. The weather is still crappy and I had to get to work. We couldn't really afford for Z to take off with her, but he did to at least get her into the doctor. The doctor was really hesitant to put her on another course of antibiotics. So, we might have to go to an ENT. He put her on some drops and antibiotics and if they don't work, then we will be back to ENT city. I say back, because when Harp was a baby, she was diagnosed with laryngomalacia, or a floppy voice box. Here is a picture of what that is:


So, basically her larynx and epiglottis are misshaped which causes very noisy breathing, reflux, impeded airway, etc. So, we had to go to an ENT when she was a little baby …

The one where I had a perfect day.

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Today was awesome. Like don't take my word for it, take Ice Cube's. 

Nothing overtly exciting happened other than SNOWMAGEDDON of course. So much for Spring. Me and Harp woke up this morning at about 5:45 and I laughed at the weatherman because NOTHING was going on outside. And I was all like, snowstorm my butt. HAHA! And then it started coming down. And the weatherman laughed at me. Dave Murray came to my house. And, I don't like to brag or anything, but we totally had some THUNDERSNOW. My dog, Kimbo, is totally terrified of thunder and lightning and murdering murderers. He had a complete conniption during the awesome thundersnow. This was Harp's first time really getting out in the snow and she had a really great time. Evidenced by these photos:








We all had an awesome time throwing snowballs and making our poor "special" snowchild. He is pretty deformed. I'm not going to lie, if it was like Frosty the Snowman and he came to life, I would probably have to…

The one where we talk about hormones and learn that I never ever put stuff back where it belongs.

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So, the thing about living with a teenager is that they are always pretty much angry. Like pretty much you could be like here is $100 and it would piss them off. I've drawn a cartoon dramatization in case you wondered what it is like and needed a visual aide.

Yeah, I drew that shizz. I'm not gonna lie, I'm totally super talented in many different ways. Including drawing. LIKE A BOSS. So, anyway, we are having an angry weekend at my house and it's been super fun.  We've already gotten a new swimsuit, went to a birthday party, have a friend over, got movies, and cookie cake, and nothing has equated to happiness. It's super tough because hormones are evil biotches and I totally get it. See, me being a teenager, and hating my dad and totally plotting his demise because women be completely crazy pretty much all the time. I like to think that as an adult, you get all better and whole, but let's be honest, sometimes I'm still fuckin' nuts. Lol.

It's ju…

The one where you learn children must go outside.

So, seriously, I hate Missouri weather right now. First off, for the past couple of days it's been deceivingly sunny outside. All of the kids think we are mean torturers who are punishing them because we don't let them outside when it's sunny which they equate to hot. It's been in the 20's which means we can't take the kiddos outside. Like, legally, we can't. Because they will freeze their little tushies off. But, the thing is that when these kids don't go outside, they act insane. I am exhausted, because turns out our little flu that we thought we had was actually Fifth Disease. Harper looks like somebody done pimp slapped her little face. My poor little girl. And I guess I didn't get the luck of having ye ol' parvovirus as a child, so now I have it. So, I've been running a low grade fever and have some majorly achy joints and bones and nausea. So, I'm already a crab. But, these children are driving me nuts. They can't run around in…

The one where we learn about my obsession with vacation and contests.

So, when I was a kid, things were weird. Like, super weird. Like I never left the state of Missouri (besides Illinois) until I was 23. My dad ran his own business and he couldn't ever leave it or chose not to. So, as a kid, we never got to take any vacations anywhere. I always hated everyone who would come back from summer vacation and they had gone to Disney World or Florida, or ANYWHERE at all. It was always a really big upset for me to never get to go anywhere or do anything.

So, when I grew up and started making real money, the first thing I wanted to do was GET THE HECKFIRE OUT OF HERE. So, my sister and I road tripped it to Florida to see Universal Studios, Sea World, Busch Gardens, and the ocean. Needless to say, my little mind was blown and I knew that when I had kids, I would always take them somewhere and never deprive them of the world. When my stepdaughter was 9 going on 10, we road tripped to Florida with my mother in law, me, and my husband. That trip was the trip fr…

The one where we rename 2013 "The Year of the Flu".

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So, I don't even know how bad our luck is, or whatever, but right now Bajesus hates us. Like, super hates us. So, for Christmas this past year, Santa got us the stomach flu. And then for New Years, Bajesus got us the stomach flu. And then because my sister was having an anniversary in early February, he thought he'd be original and give us the stomach flu. And then Valentines Day rolled around and Bajesus sat around and he thought, hey, let's do something really crazy. And all of his little friends were like, you know who hasn't had the flu too much, the S. family. They frickin' love the flu. And so, he gave us some stomach flu.

So, when sweet innocent Harper woke up at midnight last night screaming, "WIPE ME OFF!" indicating to me that she had vomited EVERYWHERE, it was kind of surreal, because how is it even possible that one family could have the stomach flu not like once or twice, but five times. FIVE FRIGGIN' TIMES. I think this deserves a meme.


The one where you learn the cost of the dream.

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I'm not ashamed to admit that living my dream has cost my family everything. So, when last night my husband and I were trying to figure out where we were going to live after the house is foreclosed on, which is impending swiftly, and we set out a budget, I wasn't overly surprised that we just don't have enough to afford, well, anything. We are living on a nearly nonexistent budget. We have cut corners everywhere. And, we still have maybe $300 left for paying for a home. When I saw this picture, it really embodied my feelings.


That's right, at minimum wage, basically half of your pay for the month is spent to even be able to afford rent on a two bedroom apartment. I make $100 a week right now. This is basically nothing. I work 70 hours a week and make a little over a dollar an hour. This is all out of my own choosing, but doesn't mean that I don't struggle constantly with the position I've put my family in. My husband wouldn't want me putting up his sala…

The one where I quit my job.

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Welcome one and all to my blog. I am a 27 year old wife, mom to a baby girl, step mom to a teenager, and a daycare owner. I live in rural Missouri.

I used to be the big bread winner in our house, an office manager for a big DWI law firm which other than a lot of funny stories and really good money, really made me unhappy. So, one day, I decided to quit. This is how the conversation went with my husband. Keep in mind that this is a dramatization.


I quit and completely changed everything in my entire life. I decided to work with kids (my daughter was about a year old). It has been a huge struggle to make my dream happen. I work with my sister, my best friend in this world, and I get to see my daughter everyday. I get to help raise other people's kids, too. It is
never boring, that is for sure. We have 17 kiddos, 13 boys and 4 girls. That really makes it interesting.

My husband went from never paying bills before in his life to being Mr. Mom. He worries about breakfasts, getting our …